Do Not Fight About The D-I-V-O-R-C-E In Front Of The K-I-D-S.
It’ll be hard, there will be tensions and emotions flaring. But you and your spouse must keep these emotions (and the details of yourdivorce) between the two of you until it is the right time to bring it up. Your kids be them young or old, need to understand from both parents the reasons why you’re making such a big decision. With that comes a lot of responsibility from both parties, to diffuse the manner in a respectable and collective way. Children are like sponges. If they thrive in a negative space, they will develop some pretty unhealthy habits that may carry on into their adult lives. If they thrive in positive spaces, the outcome can be very beneficial to their health and emotional growth.
Kids need to see both parents in the same positive light as they saw you before all of this happened. They do not need to feed off of the negative energy that you may be carrying for the other spouse, because they will soon grow to resent the other parent (and most times this feeling stems from the influence of the other parent, and not their own.) So in your own time and in your own words, calmly discuss matters with your children when it’s the right time. They still need their mommy and daddy to get along. For their health, I believe it’s best to play the part for a little while(no matter how much it sucks) until your divorce is properly finalized.
Compromise, Compromise, Compromise
This one will be a doozy. But this one of the most important things to do in order to have a hassle-free divorce. There’s a possibility assets will be split down the middle, so splitting time between spouses when it comes to the kids is something you have to think about as well. Setting agreements for things like visitations, and financial support for the children create a form of balance and boundaries between you, your spouse, and your kids. Set recurring meetings where you both can make updates or revisions to your terms as needed. Whether these agreements are settled with your lawyers present, or if you both are mature enough to discuss them on your own, it brings you one step closer to having healthy closure to the end of your divorce.
Turn To Your Support System
Statistics show that there have been 827,261 divorces, with the rate being 3.2 per 1,000 of the population in the U.S. alone. Although it sucks, no one should deal with this situation or the outcome all on their own. When everything feels like it’s weighing on your shoulders, don’t be afraid to turn to a close friend or relative—they can try and help take that load off of you for a while. Call a friend or relative to see if they can lend that helping hand, when it comes to watching the kids or helping with errands—when you have a lot of tasks to do, but not a lot of time.
On days when you feel emotionally overwhelmed, your friends and family will be there for you every step of the way, helping you through each process as your divorce finally settles and you can breathe again. Having a good support group around you during times like these can strengthen your outlook on your life, your work, and also your habits and behaviors. Taking care of yourself is essential to a being healthier you, and also to having healthier children.
Call us at 1-888-281-2725 or find our closest location. Contact us at The Mediation and Family Counseling Group www.mediationandcounseling.com to help if you feel you are afraid of divorce. We want to help calm your fears.