Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed fine to you as it began, but the person and the relationship started to change, and not in a good way? Insecurities, guilt, constant arguments, and changes of behavior begin to develop…and you start to find that it isn’t only them that has changed, but you as well? Ever felt full of life before dating this person, and then later on you felt drained, complacent, and isolated? The type of person in disguise that you might be dealing with, is a toxic person. They latch on to those that they can depend on and manipulate—and they are very skilled when it comes to that.
Here are some red flags to look out for if you’re dating a new person, in a current relationship, or know of someone dealing with a toxic person. Knowing some of these could save a life—even possibly your own.
Toxic People Only Want One Thing…
To. Be. In. Control. That’s all. They don’t care about your feelings, they don’t care to see you hurting, just as long as they’re the reason behind it all. Secret narcissists, they are. They are the grand manipulators. They could cheat on you, break up with you, and still find some way to blame you despite it being all their fault. You’ll be tricked into thinking you need to apologize for the things you didn’t even do, walking on eggshells until the beast finds something else to roar about. That’s one way of them keeping you on their leash, and it’s not a very long one.
They Try to Isolate You.
Ever wonder why your significant other is always wanting you to stay in with them on one of those much-needed nights out with your friends? Or if they’re always in the house, and they don’t seem to have any other social contacts besides you? It could be a sign of insecurity, or it could be a deeply-rooted ploy for them to try and isolate you, and keep you away from the others who care about you. They can find a way to keep you from friends and family, without you even realizing it. However, if you do find that this happens often, it’s not too late to do something about it. You should figure out your next move quickly, before you’re on the couch with them eating pizza and watching Netflix…for the third time this week.
Your Family Isn’t Fond of Them (Or The Other Way Around).
If your family members do not particularly like this person that can also be a giant red flag. If your friends and family aren’t comfortable with being around them—the things they say and do make them uneasy, as well as yourself—they might have a pretty good reason besides your partner not wanting a piece of grandma’s pie. I know there are some relationships where you or your significant other aren’t very close with each other’s family, I get it, it happens. But if you’re deeply family oriented and hell-bent on making them apart of your family, (especially if they don’t want to meet yours) I’d take my family’s vote over them any day. Not wanting to meet the family is like not wanting to know and understand your backgrounds, or to know more about you through the eyes of the people you’re closest to. Having a bond with the family is important, because if the relationship gets any more serious, your partner will soon be a new addition to the family, and family (Mother’s especially) can always weed out the fake friends, and toxic lovers.
They Try To Harm You.
Abuse has many ugly faces. Abuse can affect you physically, mentally, spiritually, verbally and even financially. No matter which tactic toxic people happen to use, it’s never going to turn out good for their partners.If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, DO NOT be afraid to seek help. Staying in unhealthy relationships can put victims at risk for substance abuse, dangerous behaviors, mental and eating disorders, and even further abuse.
Now that you know some of the signs of a toxic person, you also need to know this important piece of information as well: You. Can. Leave. No matter what they say or do to try to lock you into this unhealthy relationship, you can always find a way to break free. You need to leave in order to strengthen your spirit, and get back on track to that vibrant person that you were before. Leaving a toxic person can break those dangerous habits, and set you free in more ways you’ve never thought possible. If you or someone you know is dealing with a toxic person and in need of help, be sure to look into some of the resources below, and always try to keep trusting and loving people at your side for protection and support.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), available 24/7.
Callus at 1-800-945-6802 or find our closest location for The Mediation and Family Counseling Group www.mediationandcounseling.com to help if you feel you are afraid of divorce. We want to help calm your fears.