even during divorce
In the midst of family discord and separation, let’s not overlook the children’s needs for parental involvement especially during the holidays.
If the two parents are able to put their differences aside and tolerate shared space during holiday dinners, then we got a WIN.
If parents have spent Christmas morning together during the marriage, and the children remember it as a special time to be together, then the post-divorce separation can be remembered as the same. Providing everyone can manage their emotions.
Even in non divorce families, history of family holidays have always been a source of anxiety for many. This goes without saying, and that problem can be remedied in a number of ways, maybe a little family counseling can be arranged.
However for the families who have now separated and split the holiday it may be possible and it is acceptable to share the holiday for the sake of the children and their childhood memories.
Studies have proven that children who spend time with both parents, during holidays or weekly dinners, birthday parties, shared events, graduations, communion, recitals, sports do better in school and on their overall development.
, allows space in their sessions to discuss this and make it a possibility. This is a well appreciated discussion during negotiations and the parent The Mediation and Family Counseling Group planning piece of the mediation session.
There are factors that do not promote the possibility, but there have been more factors that out weigh the removal of shared and promote shared parent time. It really comes down to putting the children’s needs first.
It diminishes loyalty binds, guilt and sadness, isolation, alienation, and even the chaos of transitioning into different locations during the day.
We urge our clients to consider this wonderful option for the children. And if there are no side effects that have caused negative condition for the children while the two parents were in the home, then children will be much better in accepting this Family Time as norm.