In today's day and age, technology makes reconnecting much easier. If you pay attention to sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter you'll start to see more and more names you recognize from your younger years. Maybe your old best friend you lost touch with when they moved away in 10th grade or someone from your college dorm whose last name you forgot after graduation will pop up. And just maybe you'll see an old high school or college sweetheart's name as you scroll through your suggested friends list.
Now the question you'll probably ask yourself is if you should click the button to connect with said ex. Choosing to reconnect with your ex shouldn't be an impulse decision because there are factors that need to be addressed before you choose to reach out. Are you in a relationship? Are they? How did things end between you two? How serious was your relationship? If an answer to one of those questions give you a gut feeling that connecting would be a bad idea, don't do it. But if things ended amicably between you two and you and your current partner are in a stable place then maybe there's no harm in reconnecting.
Exes, like old friends, can be a great addition to your current life. Maybe they remind you of good times when you were younger or can fill in gaps of stories you can't quite remember. This rekindled friendship can be a wonderful addition to your life but it's important to remember the main people around you - your partner, your kids, and your friends; those who have been by your side since this ex left your life. Be careful who you give your time to and be mindful of the way spending time with this ex, even if it's solely platonic, can affect those people - your partner especially. Additionally, be mindful of how your presence in their life can affect their own relationships. Being friends is okay but don't cross boundaries. Don't call every day or text for hours on end. Don't cancel on previous plans for them or make this new friendship a main priority. Make time for them but don't give them a feeling that they're more important than your existing relationships. And most importantly don't keep your partner in the dark and remember to remain honest with both your partner and your new friend.
Contact us at the Mediation & Family Counseling Group at 1-888-281-2725 for more insight on saving your marriage.