Day 469 of Quarantine
At least it feels that way for some. Has too much togetherness gotten to you? Perhaps too close for mental comfort? Have you looked across the living room and asked yourself, “Is this what it’s going to be when we’re retired?” Oh no!
Many families and couples have been cooped up in their homes, never expecting it to be as contained as this, no one leaves, no one comes home, no one goes out, no one goes to work, no one gets dressed from the waist down.
Strange times without the preparation to cope. It happened so fast and not having the time to even think about how the household was going to function. No arrangements made in time.
And now here we are.
Recently I heard about parents who are helping their kids with remote learning, mom is trying to figure out
how to get their kids to log on where, dad says, “I don’t know how to use a computer and I’m not learning now” or it’s been verbally expressed, “So when I’m at work all day this is what YOU DO?” Comments and judgments are flying everywhere. AND THEY ARE LEAVING SCARS. Yet there’s nowhere to run.
When you realize that in a crisis you discover the true character of your partner is not the “When the going gets tough the tough get going” type. Rather it’s known now there’s very little evidence that personal growth or initiation are on their minds. But more video gaming is. This, realization is happening to many couples who are now thrusted into a situation that they can not adapt to. Be it an inability to cope, lack of coping mechanisms due to few adversities in one’s life growing up? It’s the partner that has come to witness this truth and unfortunately finds this limitation unattractive and frustrating.
Since time is all we have, and lots of it, a dialogue about how each of you are managing might be a healthful solution before the resentment, fear and disappointment erode your relationship.
Sadly, the statistics prove COVID-19 has been a serious fatality. Your relationship doesn’t have to be. Most importantly, stress in your living situation can compromise your health, Remember UN EASE causes DIS EASE. Health is Priority. Your body can heal itself, but your heart weakens as emotional pain continues.
SIDE NOTE: Any one local to Long island may want to rent a small temporary office to get some mental space and save their relationship, if this is something you are interested in. The Mediation and Family Counseling Group/Cooperative Counseling is here to assist. For those of you who are trying to work out of the home with little support, the anxiety of job performance can add stress to an already uncertain future. We are here to help.