In a custody battle, it is common for the hurt parent to become an alienating one who bad-mouths the other parent in front of the children. This parent sometimes doesn’t realize that what they say or do can have a negative lasting effect on the child. If you feel you are a victim of parent alienation, we’ve composed a list of ways to make sure your child knows the REAL you, not the one your ex-spouse has tried to create in their heads.
- Take any opportunity you have when you see your children to remind them know how much you love them, and that you will do anything for them to make them feel safe and secure when they are with you, and even when they are not. Additionally, let your children know that you hold no resentment towards them whatsoever because they love the alienating parent. It is their right to love and be loved by whomever they want.
- Keep a journal of each and every time you attempted to reach out to your children and were rejected by your ex and refused contact with them. Every visit you tried to make where you were denied entry or every letter you sent to your children that was sent back to you are prime examples of evidence you can use to prove you are being alienated.
- Don’t let your anger and hurt be seen by your children. When you are with them, focus on your time together. Allow the other parent to be the angry and bitter one. If the alienating parent plays you out to be a deadbeat, SHOW the children that you are not. Kids are smart and will eventually pick up on the fact that the alienating parent is lying.
- No matter what, don’t fight fire with fire. Be supportive and loving through the struggle and show your children that they have one stable parent. If they continue to stray away from you because of the alienator’s lies, continue to be there for them. When they’re ready, they’ll come back and you need to be there waiting with open arms.
Don't forget to click here to register for our upcoming presentation at Nassau Commuity College about the Effects of Divorce on Family Systems.