Signs of Emotional Neglect in Marriage

October 18, 2019 /

How can you avert emotional neglect from occurring in your marriage? 

Fortunately, it’s rather easy.Sigs of Emotional Neglect In Marriage

However, it’s also easy for emotional neglect to take over your marriage, leaving one or both partners feeling vacuous and alone. No one wants to experience little to No emotional connection in a relationship.

When emotional neglect happens in a marriage, it doesn’t look the same as other relationship problems, like conflict or fighting. Instead, it’s more likely to look like nothing.Sig

Let’s look at the Signs of Emotional Neglect in Marriage and learn tips on how to deal with the issue.

What is emotional neglect in marriage?


Emotional neglect in marriage is the creation of an imaginary rift (emotional disconnection) between married couples. In most cases, the emotional detachment may take up to a year before the affected partner realizes that it is an issue in the union. Why is that? This is because emotional neglect in marriage is not something that is manifested through actions. Moreover, you might be in denial that your spouse is emotionally detached from you.

So, what are the signs of loss of emotional connection in marriage?

Signs of emotional neglect in marriage.


1. Lack of physical intimacy

When your spouse is emotionally disconnected, it relatively affects how they treat you physically. You will realize that he/she is no longer attracted to you. Your sexual advances also go unnoticed.

2. Gets irritated quickly

When you hear a husband saying that his wife has changed, it means that she is doing something different from what he was used to. Getting quickly annoyed or irritated is one sure sign of emotional neglect.

3. Lack of empathy

Is your husband no longer worried when he finds you in a bad mood, or does he fail to console you as he used to when something terrible has happened to you? This means that you are just physically with them but not emotionally. On such an occasion, it can mean that he may care more about his challenges and feelings than yours.

4. Being habitually defensive

Maybe you were married to a guy that readily accepts their faults and apologizes, then suddenly, you realize that when you are arguing, they become too defensive and want to blame almost everything on you. They start referring to your past mistakes as the reason they did this or that.

5. Forgetting important dates

When in a marriage, we expect that our special days such as birthdays will be something our spouses remember, even when we don’t. It makes one feel special. However, when there is emotional neglect from your spouse, such dates may no longer matter to them. When you ask them, they will quickly claim that they forgot about it.

6. Those sweet names fade away

Emotional neglect is what can turn a loving husband into a stranger. If he always used to call you all those sweet names in public, such as “sweetheart”, “love”, “sugar”, “sweetie”, etc., he starts calling you only by your name.

7. Your kids become more important than you

This is something specifically witnessed in women. When a wife is emotionally disconnected from her husband, her kids become more important to her. She no longer cares about how your food is prepared; she never shares her feelings with you. All the attention shifts to the kids.

8. Breaking promises

When someone is emotionally attached to you, they try as hard as possible not to disappoint you. If they promise to change their drinking behavior, they do just that. However, when emotionally disconnected, promises to mean nothing to them.  They will change for a few days, then go back to their habit that annoys you.

9. No sacrifices

In marriage, there are those sacrifices we make for our spouse’s happiness. For instance, if a wife wants the husband to watch a show, she loves with her, it is a humble and lovely gesture for a husband to skip an evening out with his friends for her.

Emotional disconnection can make your spouse seem selfish. They no longer care about what makes you happy or what you need. They can give all sorts of excuses to avoid doing what you had planned for both of you.

10. You begin pretending when around your spouse

In a marriage, you should all be comfortable with doing anything around each other. When you realize that your spouse gets easily irritated or annoyed by your actions, you may begin trying so much to please them even at the cost of your happiness.

Due to emotional neglect, you may also find yourself becoming attracted to other people who may be at work or in the neighborhood and even feeling the urge to cheat.


Dealing with emotional neglect in marriage

After realizing that your spouse has emotionally neglected the relationship that took so much to build, through the above signs of emotional neglect in marriage, you should take immediate action to get that deep emotional connection back. Remember, denial is what will result in cheating, or possible divorce.

Steps to take when dealing with emotional neglect in marriage

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Accept the situation.

Saving your marriage starts with accepting the situation; you can never solve anything when in denial. Admit that you are responsible for the lack of emotional connection in marriage and vow to do your best to mend the relationship.

Engage your spouse.

Choose the appropriate time to share your feelings with your spouse. Let them know that you feel lonely in the union, or rather, you feel like the boat is slowly sinking. Moreover, assure them that you are ready to change or work things out if you were the cause of all this. Make it your number one goal to building deep emotional connection with your spouse once again.

Seek the help of a marriage counselor.

Sometimes emotional neglect may occur due to unexplained reasons. You two may not be able to figure out what exactly is eating at the relationship. Moreover, your spouse may not be ready to mend things because of one reason or another. In such a case, seeking professional marriage counseling for help is your best bet.  It’s better to go prepared, jot down some marriage counseling questions to ask.

Trust the process.

First and foremost, realize the importance of emotional connection in a relationship.  Never expect your spouse to change in a day; give them time to rethink their choices or the purpose of the marriage. Meanwhile, show them affection, love, and, most importantly, understanding. Give them a million reasons to come on board and make things work.

Let the Mediation and Family Counseling Group Help Get Your Marriage Back on Track.

Marriage is a holy union that should be handled with a lot of care. We should accept the fact that we are different and treat each other with a lot of understanding. Your marriage will not work by playing the blame game or by living in denial to please your family or friends. Face things head-on and remember why you got married in the first place and make it work.

Provided that both parties in a marriage are amenable to the counseling process, almost any perplexed relationship can be salvaged.  However, this is a method, and unfortunately there are no fast fixes. As a couple, you should be ready to work on things and to take the professional’s advice when given.  You can take the first step towards getting that expert help by contacting The Mediation and Counseling Group today.

Call us at 1-800-945-6802 or find our closest location at The Mediation and Family Counseling Group, Let Mediation and Family Counseling Group help you recognize the Signs of Emotional Neglect in Marriage and get your marriage back on track.



Award Winning Authors

Dana and Don

Divorce Mediatiors and Marriage Experts


Divorce Mediators, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Divorce Coach, Divorce Preparation, Marriage Experts


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