You might find yourself going through the motions of grieving the loss of a loved one throughout the divorce process. That’s normal. You are grieving the loss of a loved one, your marriage. There are five emotional stages of divorce, and we’re here to help you get through them all.
- Denial. You’re probably thinking it’s unfair that this is happening to you and thinking “why me?” but don’t get too down about it because you’ll realize soon enough that divorce is the better option for your family. Don’t drive yourself crazy thinking about what you could do or say that will bring your spouse home because when you can’t find the right words or gesture you’ll begin to hurt even more. We advise you from keeping your divorce a secret from your friends because holding it in can make the pain worse.
- Anger. During this phase your ex will become the worst person you’ve ever known or experienced, no matter how many good times you had together. You’ll blame everything that goes wrong on them and it’s okay to feel that way in the moment as long as you don’t let those feelings leave your mouth and attempt to push your negative feelings about your ex onto those around you – especially your kids.
- Bargaining. This is the stage in the process where you’ll start looking for anything you can do or say to get your ex back. This is when you’ll take back all the mean things you thought during the ‘anger’ stage and if you are the leaver you’ll figure out during this stage if you made the right decision or if you want to try again. If you are the one who has been left you’ll put your all into getting your ex back but remember that they are also going through this stage and if they realize they made a mistake they’ll come back to you.
- Depression. Even if getting out of your marriage is the best decision you’ve ever made you’ll still go through a depressive stage. You might sit in the front of the TV for hours or avoid going out with friends but don’t let this stage define you. Cry it out, talk it out, see a therapist; work through the pain to get to the next step.
- Anger. The last and final step of the grieving process. You’re finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and when you see what the next chapter of your life holds for you you’ll wonder how you were ever so lost in the first place. You’ll still have some negative feelings associated with your divorce – maybe regret, sadness, or anger but your new life will be so great that you’ll be able to take those feelings and push them aside.
Contact us at the Mediation & Family Counseling Group at 1-888-281-2725 when you make the decision to divorce using MEDIATION because we are here to aid, help, and heal you both during the process.