The Prefrontal Cortex & Love

March 20, 2018 /

aHR0cDovL3d3dy5saXZlc2NpZW5jZS5jb20vaW1hZ2VzL2kvMDAwLzAzMy8xMDIvb3JpZ2luYWwvbG92ZS1icmFpbi0xMjExMDYuanBn.jpegScientifically speaking, the period of adolescence lasts from age twelve until age twenty-five yet some call the period of age eighteen to twenty-five emerging adulthood. While this is true, as most people in this age category are finding their way separate from their parents, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are "adult enough" for the full spectrum of the real world - including jobs, living on their own and paying bills, and of course, full fledged adult romantic relationships. 

I say this because of the incomplete development of the prefrontal cortex during this period of adulthood. The PFC is the part of your brain responsible for decision making, impulse control, and higher reasoning; so, basically the command center of your brain. Science tells us that this isn't fully developed until age 25 so tell me - how is one supposed to make a fully informed decision about who they will spend the rest of their life with? 


While it's not impossible whatsoever to fall in love with someone before the age of 25 and continue to stay with and be in love with them the rest of your life, the point I'm trying to make is that making the conscious decision to get married before the age of 25 seems a little crazy if your brain isn't fully developed yet, right? Many people have multiple careers in their lifetime because they realize what they wanted to do at 18 when they started college isn't what they want to do when 30 comes along and they're bored of it. Take a moment to think about how frustrating and draining job hunting is and how you take the risk to change everything about your life because you're no longer happy. Now take another moment to think about how much MORE draining having to go through a divorce will be because you married the first person you fell in love with at 21. I don't know about you but to me that doesn't sound too fun.

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But let me get this straight with you - I'm not advising you to avoid falling in love before the age of 25. Love is amazing - it's the most powerful force we can feel and when you truly love the one you're with, life can feel complete - regardless of what else is going on in your world. What I'm telling you is to get your life settled, find a job you love, find a home you feel safe and secure in, and if you're lucky enough to be able to throw a romantic partner into the mix then go for it. Just don't jump into marriage too quick or too young - if the relationship is meant to last it will last regardless of if you get married at age 25, 30, 35, or 50. 

Contact us at the Mediation & Family Counseling Group at 1-888-281-2725 to gain an insight to keeping your relationship strong.

Award Winning Authors

Dana and Don

Divorce Mediatiors and Marriage Experts


Divorce Mediators, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Divorce Coach, Divorce Preparation, Marriage Experts


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